Discussion Question #1 Were you surprised to learn that T. Ray used to be different, that once he truly loved Deborah? How do you think Deborah’s leaving affected him? Did it shed any light on why T. Ray was so cruel and abusive to Lily?
Discussion Question #2 Had you ever heard of “kneeling on grits” before? What qualities did Lily have that allowed her to survive, endure and eventually thrive, despite T. Ray?
Discussion Question #4 Lily’s relationship to her dead mother was complex, ranging from guilt, to idealization, to hatred, to acceptance. What happens inside a daughter when she discovers her mother once abandoned her? Is Lily right– would people generally rather die than forgive? Was it harder for Lily to forgive her mother or herself?
Discussion Question #5 Lily grew up without her mother, but in the end she finds a house full of them. Have you ever had a mother figure in your life who wasn’t your true mother? Have you ever had to leave home to find home?
Discussion Question #6 What compelled Rosaleen to spit on the three men’s shoes? Did something in her finally say “Enough!”? Can you imagine yourself in her situation? What does it take for a person to stand up with conviction against brutalizing injustice? What did you like best about Rosaleen?
Discussion Question #7 Had you ever heard of the Black Madonna? What do you think of the story surrounding the Black Madonna in the novel? How would the story be different if it had been a picture of a white Virgin Mary? The women in the pink house drew consolation and power from the Black Madonna. Do you know women whose lives have been deepened or enriched by a connection to an empowering Divine Mother?
Discussion Question #8 Many women in our society are isolated from other women. Why is it important that women come together? What did you think of the “Calendar Sisters” and the Daughters of Mary? How did being in the company of this circle of females transform Lily?
Discussion Question #9 May built a wailing wall to help her come to terms with the pain she felt inside. Even though we don’t have May’s “condition,” do we also need private and public “rituals,” like wailing walls, to help us deal with our grief and suffering?
Discussion Question #10 How would you describe Lily and Zach’s relationship? What drew them together? Could you appreciate how taboo their love was in the South in 1964? Did you root for them to be together?
Discussion Question #11 Project into the future. Does Lily ever see her father again? Does she become a beekeeper? A writer? What happens to Rosaleen? What happens with Lily and Zach? Who would Zach be today?